(my new bike is a 70s peugeot and looks french as shit, in my old age I am becoming incredibly conscientious about not looking affected/quirky)
1) wear my trenchcoat
2) wear anything striped (this will be really hard because I own a lot of striped clothing)
3) carry a bouquet of flowers in the basket (especially wildflowers or anything that looks like wildflowers)
4) carry a loaf of bread in the basket
5) wear any combination of red, white, and navy (especially stripes)
6) wear any gingham (this will not be difficult, gingham went on my twee ban list about two years ago)
7)smoke (probably)
8 have my hair in pigtails or braids**
9) possibly use my netted grocery bag
10) sing merrily to myself or whistle
As more uh, situations come up over the course of the spring and the summer, I am sure I will be adding to this list, the other thing about this bicycle which deserves remark is that it is really hard to ride–my former bike was one of those big 60s Raleighs that weighed a ton and so I could like hop it up curbs and ride over cracks in the sidewalk but this one is so light I am constantly picturing myself falling off. Also, the tires have no treads but I am too broke right now to buy new ones…
I am sure that in a month or so I will be writing a blog about the expensive and painful experience of getting new front teeth or something…
**the discerning reader will note that there is no parenthesis following the “8″ in this item–do you want to know why? because wordpress automatically defaults it to that smiley emoticon wearing sunglasses!! what the??? do people not make lists on wordpress?? I am sure, incidentally, that there is a way to change this default but I am not smart enough to do so at the present time….
Tags: consumerist, fashion, late capitalism, lists
